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Ayesha Ali

Thoughts (On An Airplane)

Updated: Jul 11

Oh I used to be so happy 

I used to know 

Just what to do 

And what I felt 

But as time passed 

Where did that go? 

I’ve been waiting forever 

To have that sense of bliss retrieve 

What I have lost and loved and missed 

And what I have yet to grieve 

I have lived a certain life 

Hidden behind walls of fear 

Yet I live forever in 

A limbo I hold close, dear 

It holds me tight as I struggle 

Promising much 

But I have danced this dance of death and danger 

Enough to know it’s never enough 

Empty lies and promises

Lay within these walls 

And I sit here waiting 

In my sorrow of it all 

I have waited for forever 

For a sorrow I cannot bear

To leave my lungs and depart 

Into the clouded air 

Release the burden off my shoulders 

Make it easier to breathe 

For as it has been said before 

I need release 

I have lived a life 

Where all I’ve felt is pain 

And I just wish for some respite 

That I have yet to gain 

There is a gratitude 

That’s been waiting in the abyss 

To reawaken 

Find its place 

In the lonely mist 

I have waited for forever 

To feel that bliss again 

But all I’ve done 

Is sing and hum 

A song of so much, yet simultaneously, nothing 

I am a woman of many words 

But little action

For I find it easier to hide behind my walls 

Than gain any traction 

A nuisance I call my own 

Bathed in a light only I have shone 

Swallowed by the darkness 

I have waited for the day 

That the light fills my eyes 

And all my demons and all my sorrows run away and hide 

I crave that sweet relief 

That I have searched for years 

That I’d forsaken 

And had been misplacin’ 

In replacement for something I thought dear 

But I did not expect 

No, dear, I did not know 

The cost of my actions 

Would cause you to go 


*inspired by Mary Poppins 2, by adult Michael's song "A Conversation," to his dead wife. 

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